just one more week...

{lovin' it}

I thought it would be fun to start a new thing on my blog. I come across things all the time that are fabulous. So I thought, hey, why not compose a little post about these items of fabulocity? Seriously, right? :o) So from time to time, I will create a little something & call it "Lovin' It"...fair enough? Yeah, I thought so! After all, girls are suppose to share their delicious finds with other girls who will appreciate the love of shopping, coveting yummy goodies, and well, shopping. Oh. I said that already. ;o)

For the first installment of Lovin' It, I wanted to showcase an amazing jewelry maker, Lisa Leonard. Child, I am telling you...I'm some kind of c.r.a.z.y. over her beautiful pieces of jewelry...art, really.

I could sit here all night and show you pieces I covet the most but this new piece caught my eye tonight and I began to drool feverishly wishing it were MINE! ALL MINE! Oh I can dream. But mark my word, I WILL own a piece or, hey, while I am at it, several pieces some day! I just have to, yanno?

So go, peruse her wonderfully delicious shop but be prepared, you will drool. Grab some kleenex or something.

You can thank me later.

Seriously, go.

tell me, does it sound like me?

i kinda think it does...hmm not so sure about the brave and fearless part though.

my meela made me do it.. ;)

thirty s.i.x.

My soul is so full today with gratitude, happiness and just an overwhelming feeling of being so very blessed in my life. I have so many things I want to write about but somehow, all I can think about is the touching card my lovely mother sent to me. I cannot express how much the words of that card meant to me, to know that is how she really feels...well, it is definitely tear-jerking! I wanted to share in hopes of inspiring someone to either tell their daughters how they feel about them, whether in a note, a card, or face to face AND for daughters to remember the love of their mothers. There truly is nothing like a mother's love.

For My Wonderful Daughter...I Couldn't Be Prouder Of You

Although I've known you since before you were born, somehow, you still continue to amaze me. I've watched you go through change after change. And I've seen you navigate through some pretty rough times with your heart as your compass and your strong, resilient spirit to carry you through. Simply put, I couldn't be prouder of you. You've grown from an adorable girl into a most remarkable woman. A woman I admire, love, and respect more every day. When I held you as a baby, I knew that you were special. When I see you as a woman, I realize just how special. More so than I ever could have imagined. Happy Birthday! All My Love, Mom

I am happy to be alive! I am proud of who I am. I am blessed beyond comprehension. Life is good. Real good.

joy, love and light...

Hello blog... Are you there? It's me, Tricia!

I know! I know! I had good intentions with this new blog. But then I got sucked into that web of thinking, "Wait. Do I really want to share anything with everyone?" Yeah, so, I kinda just let it simmer on the back burner knowing that when it was ready to boil, I would post something. And look, boiling point! ;)

Well, not boiling point in a bad way, just that I have things to spew and here is a good place to do that regardless who reads or doesn't read.

As per usual, I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. I turn 36 in less than a week (oh my freaking hell) and I still am not where I want to be in my life. I want to DO more and BE more. By that, I simply mean that I feel a void in my soul still. I feel a yearning to do more than I have been doing with my life, other than being PTA vice-president and chairperson for multiple committees at the school. Don't get me wrong, I totally love that I have the opportunity to do that, it's just that I know I have a bigger purpose that I have not really found yet. Am I even suppose to "find" it? Or is it suppose to find me? Either way, I need something to find or it better find me soon.

I want to LIVE obnoxiously out loud! I want to do things that make my spirit soar. I want to travel. I want to bake. I want to do more charity work. I want to discover new things. I want to learn new things. I want to challenge myself to be more than I ever thought I could be and to BELIEVE that I can be and do it! I want to write more letters to my girls. I want to LIVE with purpose and promise.

Promise that there is a life waiting for me when I shed this massive amount of weight. Promise that there is the real me waiting to finally exhale. Promise that there are people in my life that fit just right and are there to stay. Promise that I will get to meet the people who I love and adore that I have only known online. The promise to feed my soul with positive energy and calm surroundings and joyful living. To nourish my heart and soul with the truth that lies within my inner self. To shine so brightly like I have never shined before. To do good in this world and to make a real difference in my life, the life of my family and friends and the lives of those who I meet on my life's journey. (how many times can you say "life" in one sentence?)

There are things that I want in my life and I have been sitting stagnant long enough. Today, I made an effort to reach out to my biological half-brother. I have not spoken to him since we were very young. He last told me he hated me because my dad had to pay support for me and that meant he couldn't do things. I know he was young. I know it was complicated to him. I know he is not the only one that was hurting. I was too. I mourned a lost relationship that we once shared. He is only 3 months younger than I am. His name is Chris. He and I look so much alike, it is unreal, like twins. I want to know him, his children and his wife. I want my children to know their uncle. I have tried reaching out to my biological father many many times. There is never a response. My girls have even written letters to their Pappy and he doesn't even acknowledge them either. I pray, with all that I have in me, that my brother will want to reconcile our relationship and be in each other's lives. It felt good to write that letter to him via facebook. but i feel sick to my stomach, afraid of the rejection if he doesnt respond yet full of hope that he will. i REALLY want a relationship with him. i fear he wont want that. im afraid of a broken heart. but I will do my best to hold onto faith. Faith that he will want the same things too, even if it takes awhile to get there. Some day. I hope.

I have really taken time to sort out odd feelings of uncertainty and other junk I was feeling about friendships too. And if you really know me, you know that I have always struggled with the issue of friendship. I often allow myself to feel abandoned, left out, unloved, unworthy etc etc. I also often felt like I would open myself up to people only for them to just not really care about me or be the kind of friend I needed them to be, nor could I be the kind of friend they needed me to be. It has been hard for me to accept that some so called friendships really are not friendships at all. I really don't have that many true friends. And I have even less that I do things with on a daily basis, or just a regular basis. I still long for that perfect friendship...the "best friend" syndrome. I hope it happens before I hit forty. :o) I don't allow others to control how I feel in a relationship any more. And while it hurts a little, I am no longer questioning MY WORTH if the friends start drifting away. That? Is a very good thing.

Lots to process in these few paragraphs so I will not add more (I so totally could though!) I will just say that I am a work in progress and I like the direction my life is headed. I just need to keep on the right path of self-appreciation and positive thinking.

Be well, internet, be well. Surround yourself with only the things that make you feel good, things that bring joy, love and light to your life. Inspire and be inspired. Daily.

Much love...

soak it in...

Promise Yourself:

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but great deeds.

To live in faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

~Christian D. Larson