I used to think that the only way I could be creative was when I was in a dark place, a depression. I say that because I would seemingly crank out the poetry, scrapbook more, read more, drown myself in music, create more art. When I was full of light, I wasn't creating anything near that spectacular. In fact, most of the time, during my light cycles, I wouldn't create a thing. Then depression hit again and my muse was seduced in a writing frenzy. I haven't written poetry in years. I haven't allowed that part of me to come out and play again in years. Probably because I haven't been in a really dark place in years either.
“Creation comes from cycles - sometimes small waves and sometimes big waves. And as the waves end, they want to rest - they have given all they could and need to replenish before moving again.” -Michelle Cassou
I want to acknowledge my rest. I haven't surrendered, yet, to the light cycles of my life. It is time to really believe that I do not have to be in a dark place to create great things. I have rested and replenished. Time to move forward. To create with intention, with purpose and most of all, without self-inflicted expectations. Time to let the light inspire my muse and let it be.
2 comments:
Interesting. I used to think if I was happy and really mentally healthy I wouldn't be as creative -until I got SO unhappy that I wasn't creative at all. Now like you I am pretty happy, and I find I write better - less self absorbed pieces, more interesting to other people. Of course that's just my experience.
I wonder if writing in a class or workshop, where you have a deadline and feedback, would jump start your "happy writing life". Maybe you could give yourself a prompt and a deadline. It'd be interesting to see if maybe it's not that you can't write happy, but that it isn't as spontaneous, you have to force yourself to sit and do it?
I'll be interested to hear how you navigate this one, as it is one of my long term questions in life.
For me it's hard to force productive creativity when I'm not feeling it. That being said I did some of my best work during the three years I was in Grad school and forced by fear of humiliation to produce all the time. So maybe we can force it if we really try and have some kind of deadline or motivation.
For me, I'm not as prolific when I'm really happy because I don't want to be alone in my studio when I feel like that. I want to be out living my life and sharing it with others.
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